heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

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Now who's the detective?

Ah hah, but I'm not the one denying my sleuthing.

[Blake gives the kid a long, long look.]

[What finally comes out is:]

What?

I wasn't denying it. I just wanted to know what led you to your conclusion.

Which, I suppose, answers the question in itself.

[Dirk rolls his eyes behind his shades and sighs.]

Paradox slime babies don't phase you but alternate universes do. Okay, let me break this down for you.

The world I come from, I was one of two human beings left alive after a hostile takeover by an alien tyrant. I was created in the past by a one John Egbert, who is the closest thing any of us have to a father because he's the one that pressed the button to create us. My Guardian was long dead by the time I had the cognitive ability to register what a Guardian even was, and he didn't wear these shades, he wore aviators. Whoever you're talking about is either an impostor of the radness that is Dirk Strider, or an alternate universe version of myself.

Edited 2013-11-23 20:17 (UTC)

[Whoa, of all the people he didn't expect to see again, this is one of them. It feels like forever ago that Dirk disappeared. At such a goddamn inopportune time, too. They were just starting to actually get along.

Unfortunately he can tell that Dirk doesn't seem to remember being here, which is kinda crappy, but there's not much he can do about it.]

yo mini me.
been a hot minute since i last saw your skinny ass.
i see you still havent graduated coolschool into wearing hats yet.
step up your game bro geez.

Uhhh...

[Holy shit, Rose really does get it from her dad. Of all the Alphas, John has talked to Dirk and Roxy. But goddamn, dude.]

Yeah, um. This world definitely has those. Most of the time, things are pretty normal, but ever so often there's a case of Weird Shit that goes down. It typically doesn't last very long though, and it's usually not quite as um... [He hesitates. How to even describe this.] bull shitt-y.

Sweet. So we've got an Eevee expert and a Dragon expert. I'm liking these options.

[It takes Dirk a few calculating minutes to respond, looking over the text and recalling his conversation with Blake.]

You must be the older doppelganger version of me Sir Beardie mentioned.
I'll pass on the hat. Besides, it seems I've acquired one in the form of my starter.

Edited (html pls.) 2013-11-23 21:49 (UTC)

A bit, yeah.

yep thatd be me.
doppelbro.
and touche there.
you realize you can just stick it back in the ball right?
it aint gotta stay out the whole time.
especially if its committing the most blasphemous sin by destroying your golden tresses.

Doppelbro. I think that's gonna be your new name, dude.
Nah. I'm Ash Ketchuming this shit up, here. I could put him in the ball, but he seems pretty damn content up there. Plus he's got this rad little scarf now. Gotta show off the scarf.

well alright.
but i reserve the right to call you beef dirky.
its ironic because you aint all that beefy.
and that is a pretty rad scarf.
but first you have to get your ass kicked by spearow.
you better get on that if you wanna be the ash.

[Okay he actually has to laugh a little at that. Beef Dirky. Are you for real right now.]

I am pretty much the exact opposite of beefy.
Shit I forgot. I need a bike to steal from a ginger with an 80s ponytail, too.

I understand.

[...]

Has someone explained your current circumstances to you?

[He is so for real right now.]

for the sake of this beautiful journey youre about to embark on i humbly volunteer to wear the ponytail and go ginger.
its a difficult sacrifice but somebody has to do it.
but nah im a bit tied up unfortunately.
im sure your welcome wagon is pretty big already though.

Not necessarily to the fullest extent I would like, but I've been provided with the basics.

Your lack of a complete answer might stem directly from the fact that no one seems to know much of anything about this place or its workings. Anything people have managed to piece together is still founded on circumstantial evidence at best.

With no ponytailed ginger my quest will never truly begin.
The struggle is real.
Big enough, for sure. Given it consists of someone that for all intents and purposes should be your age and dead.

I've sort of picked up on that.
Seems harmless enough, from my standpoint. There are people that have been here for years without incident, for the most part.
Then again I think my view on life-threatening circumstances is probably a little skewed.

I've been told that achieving god tier requires death.

With that in mind, I would imagine you're probably right.

Yep.
Got blown up by a crazy alien tyrant with an affinity for the color pink.

I mean there's definitely pros to it. I can't die now unless by a noble cause.
So I guess in a way the witch did me a favor.
But yeah. Still had to die to become immortal.
Riddle me that.

That's not likely to be the case here.

There seems to be some variety of functional immortality for everyone concerned, but it's not a facet of anyone's abilities. People tend to be stripped of those when they arrive here.

We got a Ghost expert too. Just be prepared for John being a super nerd about it.

[Spooky, isn't it? He's a little alarmed by Rose and their similarities, himself. He should never, ever have a vagina. That's just terrifying.]

That's good to hear. Call it a vacation. Now I just have to figure out how to make sure that Roxy, Jake and Jane aren't getting completely screwed without me.

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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