First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

[heartsplintered]

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Comments

video;

[heartsplintered]

[Spooky, isn't it? He's a little alarmed by Rose and their similarities, himself. He should never, ever have a vagina. That's just terrifying.]

That's good to hear. Call it a vacation. Now I just have to figure out how to make sure that Roxy, Jake and Jane aren't getting completely screwed without me.

video; wow that was supposed to say "talked to dirk and roxy the least" + another sentence? gj self

[ghostytrainer]

Oh, they'll be fine, no need to worry too much. Somehow or another, it's like we never even left? Nobody is really one hundred percent sure how it actually works but...it it's definitely A Thing.

And with any luck, the three of them will find their way back here soon too. They have all been here before at least once already so I figure it's only a matter of time at this point.

video; okay at least i wasn't confused for naught

[heartsplintered]

Still not sure I like not being able to be in control of where I am and where I'm going. Especially not since Jake is pretty fucking incapable of taking care of himself. The girls I'm less worried about.

...Loathe as I am to say it, I think I'd really like that. We all need a fuckin' break.

video; nope i'm just braindead

[ghostytrainer]

Eh, you get used to it [John shrugs.] Then again, it didn't really bother me all that much to begin with. But trust me, they are all fine, even Jake.

Anyway, I'm guessing Dave is coming to get you, yeah?

video; it ok.

[heartsplintered]

[His mouth twitches a little bit at that. "Even Jake" makes it sound like he was especially worried about him, which he supposes the statement of him being nearly incapable of taking care of himself suggested as much, but-- Fuck talking about Jake is so awkward.]

[He's glad for the subject change.]

Seems like that's the plan, yeah.

video;

[ghostytrainer]

[Well if it makes you feel any better, Dirk, John wasn't even...thinking about the dating thing. He just knows that Jake is a little...]

[Okay, well he's kind of hopeless when it comes to some things.]

Cool beans. Man, and you got here just in time for the holidays too, this is great.

video;

[heartsplintered]

[Change "some" things to "most" things and you've got your man. Maybe that's why Dirk was constantly giving himself an ulcer smothering the guy.]

Holiday? [What day is it?]

video;

[ghostytrainer]

Yeah...you know like...Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Year's. The great birthday palooza since all of you ave for Jane and I have to have your birthdays all squished up right next to each other.

[Surprise! It's November.]

video;

[heartsplintered]

...What the fuck I swear it was just April.

video;

[ghostytrainer]

Ahaha, yeah that...happens sometimes. It was January when I first got here but it was my birthday when I left.

Not all universes are chronologically aligned with each other, apparently.

video;

[heartsplintered]

Goddamn. Isn't Dave the Time Guy? He needs to get on this shit.

video;

[ghostytrainer]

Yeah, Dave is the Time Guy. Or was, more accurately. Now he's just "the Dave of Guy," as he puts it.

So he'd probably just tell you it's not his jurisdiction anymore or something like that if you tell him to get on his shit. Talk about a lame Time God, hahaha.

video;

[heartsplintered]

Ah, Kirigiri mentioned something like that. We don't get to keep our powers, but we get some weird Pokéquivalent of immortality. Lame, I'd have liked to get to try out the powers my fancy little asshole pants give me.

video;

[ghostytrainer]

Fancy little asshole pants...? Do I want to know?

But yeah, Kirigiri is right. In a way, we sort of got an upgrade to God Tier immortality since we lost the just-slash-heroic death clause. But it was still a downgrade overall because we lost everything else. [He shrugs.]

Happens to everybody with powers though, not just us. Well...almost everyone, I should say. There have been some people with psychic abilities who have retained them in the capacity to understand Pokémon. And people who aren't humans? Say, aliens for example? They become humans here for reasons nobody has quite been able to figure out yet.

video;

[heartsplintered]

Exactly what it sounds like. Puffy pants that make me look like a fancy asshole. They're like fucking pantaloons.

Whoa, so like.. the grey kids aren't grey?

video;

[ghostytrainer]

Pfffftthaha. Sounds like your class makes for some pretty awesome duds then.

[He'd ask to see them, but somehow it seems weird to just say "yo Dirk, tilt the camera down some so I can see them pantaloons."]

But nope! They are pink and squishy like the rest of us now. Granted, there are only two of them left now...

video;

[heartsplintered]

So long as "awesome" is in the eye of the beholder, sure. I'm not entirely digging the asshole pants or the glorious shade of cerise they come in.

[He'd totally show them off if he hadn't changed pretty much fucking instantaneously because like hell was he gonna go around prancing through the Pokémon world in puffy asshole pants and a tiara.]

Of course that leads me to believe they weren't previously squishy. Just, ah... Aradia, yeah? And somebody else.

video;

[ghostytrainer]

...Cerise?

[He's about 5% sure you just made that color up entirely, Dirk. What the actual FUCK is cerise? Shut up, it's fucking magenta.]

Kanaya. Aradia and Kanaya. And yeah. Having had one hug me before, I can confirm that they are slightly less squishy than humans. They're not made out of rocks or anything but...