heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

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[He definitely tenses his shoulders at that notion.]

Seems like it.

[His eyebrows raise at the 'mon, and after a moment he nods his head at him.] Uh. Sup, bro.

[His mouth twitches a little bit at that. "Even Jake" makes it sound like he was especially worried about him, which he supposes the statement of him being nearly incapable of taking care of himself suggested as much, but-- Fuck talking about Jake is so awkward.]

[He's glad for the subject change.]

Seems like that's the plan, yeah.

He's actually been here once before and yeah he did the pants crap at me and Rose.

How badly confused would the populace be if we had John and Jake dress up the exact same with shades on to hide their eyes. If we could keep Jake from talking no one would know. They'd just be clones.

[[That was half the point. Though when he addresses someone other than her, she glances around and--oh.]]

Do you want to meet Dirk, Prick?

[[There's a cool Quag and she moves so he can see the gear better.]]

Dirk, this is my starter Pokemon, Prick. He's a Quagsire.

[Blake groans and rubs between his eyes.]

I am not dealing with fuckin' time travel.

You're a clone of him from the future.

[Blake's trying, he really is.]

Oh.

You're from one of the worlds where it's a game, right?

Again more or less.
Lots of more or less in our lives these days.
Well tickle me pink, first time meeting you and you're already fond of me. I'll have to work on that getting to know you thing or this might get awkward.
Oh the doppelganger with the soulpatch and the desperate adoration of hats. Right.

It should sound more confusing but to me it makes more sense.
I think that's just a personal problem though.

Several, actually. Card game, video game, pretty sure there's a version of Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit centered around it.

yes thats the one!!
and i am always happy to get to know you
i guess if you want cliffnotes on me i can give them to you :o

to be honest youll find our world confuses lots of people
even those of us from it haha

[Dirk sighs.]

Not exactly, but a fair enough approximation. Clone, yes. Of him, no. From the future, yes.

[He shifts a little uncomfortably.] Hopefully not literally.

Getting Jake to not talk is about as impossible as getting this fucking bird to not roost in my hair. So I'm sure it'd be a great prank, except unless we taught John how to talk like an Australian Village Idiot, I'm not sure it'd fly.

[You are a cruel mistress, Rose Lalonde. He will adore the shit out of you for it when he's not the one in danger of affection.]

...Pr-- [Snort.] You named your starter Prick?

Insufferable Prick, to be exact. Dave, if you have a hard time bringing yourself to say his name. Originally he had been named after Dave because of his 'cool as a cucumber' attitude when he was just a Wooper.

The name, obviously, still fits.

Because he, like Dave, is an insufferable prick.

Then how do you look...exactly like...

[Blake sighs from deep down in his soul.]

I really don't wanna know, do I.

It's creepy enough to see a kid with his face.

[Well if it makes you feel any better, Dirk, John wasn't even...thinking about the dating thing. He just knows that Jake is a little...]

[Okay, well he's kind of hopeless when it comes to some things.]

Cool beans. Man, and you got here just in time for the holidays too, this is great.

Nah, Cliffnotes are the cheater's way out. I dunno about you but I read the entirety of the Iliad and the Odyssey, not just the Cliffnotes.
And I didn't even go to school, so maybe that's just a testament to how fuckin' bored I was as a kid.

Yeah no kidding. I've just got myself elbow-deep in the bullshit so I have the unfortunate side effect of understanding the finer nuances of its stench.

Same person. Different universe. I'm basically this guy if he were born in 2409 instead of whatever year he was born.

[Quirks an eyebrow.] I can shut off the video feed if it's that much of a problem, dude.

[Change "some" things to "most" things and you've got your man. Maybe that's why Dirk was constantly giving himself an ulcer smothering the guy.]

Holiday? [What day is it?]

[Dirk is temporarily lost in snickering fucking giggles, please hold.]

[Holding.]

Yeah...you know like...Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Year's. The great birthday palooza since all of you ave for Jane and I have to have your birthdays all squished up right next to each other.

[Surprise! It's November.]

i actually do not think i have read those
or the troll equivalents
but perhaps i can read the pokemon equivalents!!!

yeah john tried to explain ectobiology to people with charts and stuff
it didnt really work haha

wow you have no holiday spirit.
im disappointed.
but yeah im sure you will.
there are just so many of us.
its hard not to fuckin trip over them.

I imagine the content of the Troll Odyssey probably greatly different from its human-written counterpart.
And I'll keep an eye out for a copy for you, no sweat.
Not necessarily the most entertaining of literary works, but I like reading the classics.

Charts aren't really the best way to go about it. You've just gotta lay that shit down straight.
Hey, yo, I'm a freaky alien slime ghost clone baby from the future.
I already went through this with a cop that's obsessed with calling me my doppelganger's kid, so.

Christmas has a habit of being one of those "Family" holidays. Guess you need family to really appreciate it.
It's like a traveling circus, Jesus.

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