heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

Entry tags:

First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[[The expression on her face is glowing with so much satisfaction at that. She lives for picking on poor, unsuspecting Striders.]]

That's what I've been told. I prefer to think of myself as unconventional. Don't worry, dad, I'll keep the terrifying mental scars to a minimum.

Oh that's a normal bird thing. I had a Hoothoot who lived on my head. She still tries even as a Noctowl. You'll get used to it. Or perhaps you can pick up a Sudowoodo and give it a tree to perch upon.

[He's--]

[Holyfuckingshit.]

[Dirk's jaw goes slack and his shoulder slump-- it's a wonder he doesn't drop the damn communicator.]

[A moment later he affords a breathless laugh, shaking his head and pulling off his shades to pinch the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut.]

Shit, dude. You're my fucking brother, aren't you. [He shakes his head, replacing the shades.] Spill, I'll get some exploring done before I'm abruptly bombarded with you in the flesh.

Intelligent deduction. Or maybe I just like the color orange. I mean, it's pretty fucking rad.

The first two and the last, if only because I've recently met people by those first names.

There is nothing wrong with a water Pokemon who loves water.
Just because he happened to find the latrine before any other water source doesn't mean he's stupid.
And honestly, I don't know how much you want to talk shit about your fossil either.
Because really, I think 'like Trainer like Pokemon' fits well here.

[Thankfully, you've not gone evil and punched him in the face yet, so he has no reason to cringe at your excitable mug popping up on the screen.]

Funny, you don't look like you're anybody's grandma-sorta. Aren't you a little young for that?

Hee! Well of course I am, silly, he was my grandpa in my universe, but you know him as someone about your age, right? Have you met John yet, because he has probably already brought up the words "ectobiology" given he was the conductor of babies in our whole session.

[She's very nonchalant about it.]

Technically, Jake and Jane are my ectobiological mom and dad and John is my ectobiological twin brother!

[He wheezes just slightly.]

I didn't even raise you and you're a perfect fucking troll. [He brings one hand toward his face and puts the other partially over the screen.] Don't-- don't look at me, these tears are simply because I'm so proud of you.

...Hoothoot, Noctowl, Sudowoodo? I'm fuckin' behind on the Pokémon times, clearly. I don't know what any of those are.

Given the fact that your immediate question wasn't, "What's SBURB", I'm fairly confident in that assumption as an accurate one.

I presume you're not a troll.

Oh daddy. [[There's an overdramatic sniffle.]] I was hoping I could do something with my life that you would be proud of!

Hoothoot and Noctowl are owl type Pokemon. Sudowoodo is a rock tree. If I had Tick on me I could show you a Noctowl but unfortunately she's in the PC right now.

Fair enough. Guilty as charged, detective. Dirk Strider, at your service.

Depends on your definition of the word, but to answer your presumption I'm not grey.

John's the one that looks just like Jake, yeah?

[Fuck this shit is confusing.]

So you're a science baby that looks like what would happen if Jake and Jane did the nasty, and so's blue-eyes over there. Gotcha. That's fuckin' terrifying.

[A breathy chuckle, and he shifts to look back at the screen.] Consider your goal met, then.

Naw, I wouldn't have guessed. With names like Hoothoot and Noctowl, I'd have figured they were rabbits!

My definition generally involved the presumption that my typing in this text color would define me as your empress. But again, from the general lack of genuflection or furious insistence that I'm an impostor, I think it's fair to assume that's not the case.

Do you know someone named Roxy Lalonde?

[He waits, letting Dirk get that out of his system before spreading his hands, the gear being on the floor at his feet.]

You're in New Bark Town. I can wing it and get to you in about a day from here. ...okay slightly over a day but the point stands.

[He whips his out of his wallet, waving it for a moment.]

There should be a card in the pack you got will say breeder or trainer. Breeders can us hms like they're going out of style without needing to lay the smackdown on Gym leaders. Trainers? We got to work for the money.

So to speak.

Yeah I'm you're brother. Sup.

Yes, that is him. Do you really think it's terrifying? [She kind of adjusts her glasses and brushes her hair away, almost like she can diminish any terrifying attributes by fixing herself up.] Hmm...I suppose it's not so weird to me anymore, I've had three years to adjust to the news. Jake was my pen pal for quite a while, so I got used to him saying that he was my grandson too.

But--talking about what's going on with our session is boring, isn't it? I mean unless you wanted to ask me something else about it? I don't know, what do you want to know right now?

Wonderful. One check off my bucket list.

I know, it's surprising isn't it? But they're owls! I'll have to introduce you when you get here. But you're probably about four hundred or so Pokemon behind, yes.

Well shit, should I start practicing my curtsey?
Last I checked I was pretty human, though I've been called a number of other things.

Once again, guilty as charged. Closest friend of the female persuasion a guy could ever ask for, Roxy.

yes you caught me i am mad loving all over my own reflection
nothing hotter than dave strider
check out that fine slice of manhood
only no
i think he just has bad eyesight but i dont think you can get glasses for pokemon
can you
is that a thing

wait if like trainer like poke are all of your pokemon smut writers
all of you sitting in hushed silence when you watch the wizards strutting on the big screen
fyi im going to flap from the coop in a sec just got to grab my strongest dragons before i ollie out

You'd need a skirt for that first.

That's fairly begging me to ask you to elaborate on the other things you've been called, isn't it?

The concept of Jake breeding in any capacity is terrifying. The fact that you're not actually a product of sexual intercourse makes it way less unnerving. Paradox slime clone babies I can handle. Jake actually knocking somebody up is the basis of several nightmares in my future.

[A slight shrug.] I guess you could start with what you know about the whole Pokémon thing. I mean, this doesn't feel like a dream bubble.

I still operate under the opinion that you are mad narcissistic and that's why you have no interest in anyone.
Also why you dream of dicks.
And...I think so?
I think it might be?
They can wear monocles.

And actually, you'd be surprised.
You should read some of the things Dave has written about some of the "Pokeritas" he's met.
Especially the ones about his lover, Rose.

Hey now, whoever said a dude can't curtsey in jeans?

Oh, all sorts of things, most of which directly relating to things of a robotic nature. I've worked with them most of my life, so I guess it's not too far of a cry.

I still haven't caught your name, Detective Empress.

I think it's reasonable to assume you couldn't do it well enough to befit an empress.

My name is Kyouko Kirigiri. That's Western order; "Kirigiri" is fine.

[He's glad for the time it'll take Dave to get to him. He's-- terrified doesn't even begin to cover it. He's looking right at Dave, as it stands, can see that he's his age and obviously not the same continuity as the guardian he never met, but-- Fuck. Meeting someone you've ached to meet your whole life, even if they're technically an alternate universe version of that someone... Even Dirk Strider isn't immediately prepared for these shenanigans.]

[He mindlessly seeks the pack, and the card enclosed, holding up one that reads "Trainer" without a word.]

So I need a job, yeah?

Hot damn. Looks like I've got a lot of colorful ball-critters to get familiar with.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 2 of 11

First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

Video;

[TEXT ---> Video]

text;

[TEXT]

[video]

[video]

Video; I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE A USE FOR THIS ICON

text;

Video;That's what Rose is for. She gets that a lot too.

text;

[video]

Video; i'm fucking dying i love them already

text;

[Video]

[video]

Video; good me too

text;

[TEXT]

text;

[video]

[TEXT]

text;

text;

[Video]

Video;