heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

tentacletrainer

Personally I think if Dave were slotted, he'd likely be just as much of a shit as I am. [[She smiles.]]

Though I don't know if I like the idea of a Dave Lalonde. Dave? Maybe it would be David. That is a far more adequately eloquent name. Far more suited for the name Lalonde.

But! I am glad to hear that dad. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

From:

heartsplintered

I think I like Dave firmly in the slot of "brother".

[A snort.] "David", holy shit.

Now that I've gone and dug myself a grave or three, what are the chances of me asking you nicely to not call me dad? And you, you know. Actually listening.

Edited Date: 2013-12-02 06:27 am (UTC)

From:

tentacletrainer

He's a really great brother, isn't he? And just about slim to none. I mean you can ask, sure, but there's likely no chance I'll stop calling you that. It's fun watching your skin crawl, daddy.

From:

heartsplintered

[He quite possibly visibly shudders.]

God that is creepy. Isn't John more along the lines of everybody's dad?

From:

tentacletrainer

Well sure but I plan to have babies with him eventually. Calling him dad will make that a little awkward, especially considering there are now four people in my life I call dad and I would prefer not to think of any of them while in bed.

No offense, of course. You're extremely attractive but, again, you're my daddy.

[[You're caught in her web Dirk and you're never going to escape.]]

From:

heartsplintered

[He loses about half a shade of skin color. Which is saying something.] More information than I ever needed.

I'd prefer you not think of me in bed either for that matter. Dashing as your God Tier jammies may be, Miss Lalonde, both my orientation and our state of related would make that horribly taboo. [Don't worry, he'll play along. When he's not just alarmed.]

From:

tentacletrainer

Then we agree to suffer in our love-stricken states in silence together? Giving each other fleeting glances on the streets full of longing but always keeping our hands to ourselves. Standing awkwardly in elevators full of teenage hormones bursting at the seams, begging us to rut against each other like nature driven rabbits.

It will be tough, but we can do it. For each other.

[[You just jumped up to number one favorite boy to tease and torture.]]

From:

heartsplintered

[A beat.]

[And then he dramatically smacks a hand to his collarbone and shakes his gear.]

I-- I'll try, Rose. I will try my hardest, only for you.

From:

tentacletrainer

And I, for you. Don't worry, daddy. We'll make it through this.

[[Ah, yes, delicious ridiculousness.

This is why she loves the Strider family. This is why she's glad she's a part of it.]]

Now, you don't happen to have a tape measure handy, do you?

From:

heartsplintered

[He wheezes for a moment in poorly-contained laughter. Holy shit this girl is amazing. He likes you, Rose. He is glad to call you his not-daughter.]

Because we're strong, baby doll. We're so strong. For each other.

[A quirked eyebrow.]

Might in my --don't have my 'dex, nevermind. Sorry, doll, that's a negative.

From:

tentacletrainer

[[She likes you too. She'd be so sad if she never met you.

She also likes baby doll that's a good touch.]]

That's alright, daddy. I'll wait until you get here for measurements too then. Just means I'll be starting your gift a little late is all.

From:

heartsplintered

[He'll come up with worse, just give him time.]

A gift? Naw, you don't have to worry about that, sweetness.

From:

tentacletrainer

It's not a worry. It's what family does for each other.

[[Good.]]

From:

heartsplintered

Then naturally I'll have to return the favor.

From:

tentacletrainer

I would not at all be against that.

[[Just you wait. Just you wait until Christmas, Dirk. Just you wait until you see what she is going to make you.]]

From:

heartsplintered

Good. Bring it on.

[It's going to be an awful sweater or scarf, isn't it. He's a little scared to be honest.]

From:

tentacletrainer

[[Worse.]]

I should forewarn you about using the phrase 'Bring it on' in the future.

I am the queen of 'over the top' and 'took it a little too far'. That may as well be my SBURB title.

Edited Date: 2013-12-09 12:27 am (UTC)

From:

heartsplintered

[Oh God, onesie pajamas? Please let it be a onesie Dirk would laugh himself sick.]

[He grins crookedly.]

Then I should warn you about forwarning me about things; bring it on.