First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

[heartsplintered]

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Comments

[video]

[heartsplintered]

[Dirk rolls his eyes behind his shades and sighs.]

Paradox slime babies don't phase you but alternate universes do. Okay, let me break this down for you.

The world I come from, I was one of two human beings left alive after a hostile takeover by an alien tyrant. I was created in the past by a one John Egbert, who is the closest thing any of us have to a father because he's the one that pressed the button to create us. My Guardian was long dead by the time I had the cognitive ability to register what a Guardian even was, and he didn't wear these shades, he wore aviators. Whoever you're talking about is either an impostor of the radness that is Dirk Strider, or an alternate universe version of myself.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

I never said that wasn't crazy bullshit too--

[Blake is stunned silent.]

[In the interim, you can hear the whoosh of every single word flying straight over his head.]

[He tries to pick out what he can.]

You're saying you're him. As a kid. From another planet.

[video]

[heartsplintered]

Same planet. Different year, essentially. I was born in 2409. I think the year they entered their session was 1996. But years and time doesn't matter for shit anymore.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Blake groans and rubs between his eyes.]

I am not dealing with fuckin' time travel.

You're a clone of him from the future.

[Blake's trying, he really is.]

[video]

[heartsplintered]

[Dirk sighs.]

Not exactly, but a fair enough approximation. Clone, yes. Of him, no. From the future, yes.

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

Then how do you look...exactly like...

[Blake sighs from deep down in his soul.]

I really don't wanna know, do I.

It's creepy enough to see a kid with his face.

[video]

[heartsplintered]

Same person. Different universe. I'm basically this guy if he were born in 2409 instead of whatever year he was born.

[Quirks an eyebrow.] I can shut off the video feed if it's that much of a problem, dude.