heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

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[He frowns just slightly, but it's not overly visible unless you pay attention to the line of his mouth.]

I'll figure out how to manage. I mean-- I can handle myself just fine, it's just that Dopey here probably can't hold his own. He's like a Magikarp, except he's got wings.

[[She's honestly paying close attention to his body language in general, wanting to make sure she doesn't step on any toes and just isn't told that she did. She doesn't really take note of it though. She's used to that reaction from people from their universe now.]]

Wingull is nothing like Magikarp, no matter how stupid you claim yours to be. At least Wingull come with attacks that will actually be effective without having to use a handful of Pokemon beforehand.

[He doesn't quite know what to do with people knowing how to watch Striders. Though he doubts she'll step on his toes, exactly-- just unnerve him.]

Fair enough. For the moment, though, his only move seems to be "roost".

Clever as your joke is, keep in mind that's an actual move now, and will likely ruin it when given to people who only possess an iota of humor.

[[Well he'll have to get used to it. She'll be doing that a lot.]]

[Hhhhh.]

Ugh, seriously? And here I thought I was being daft and shit.

Seriously. [[She snorts with a slight shrug. Behind her wanders in a Quagsire sporting a pair of shades that look strikingly similar to Dave's.

Likely because they are a pair of Dave's.]]

I hear Davey is on his way to get you. I hope you're ready for your magic carpet ride home.

Take the wind out of my sails, Pokémon world. It's chill. I'll get over it.

[He squints at those. What the crap is that Pokémon and why is it wearing aviators that is so completely ridiculous. And he wants to give all of his Pokémon pairs of his shades now holy shit. Rose what have you done.]

That seems to be the plan.

[[That Pokemon is disappearing off the screen for now.]]

Excellent. This means I'll be able to assault you with a hug sooner than I was expecting.

[[And it is now reappearing behind her, juice box in hand. Hold the phone, who's this douchebag on the screen with the cool shades? It's not Rosephine's dad or whatever, he's pretty sure. The kid is too little.

Just going to stand behind the couch, sip at his juice, and stare coolly at Dirk. Sup bro.]]

[He definitely tenses his shoulders at that notion.]

Seems like it.

[His eyebrows raise at the 'mon, and after a moment he nods his head at him.] Uh. Sup, bro.

[[That was half the point. Though when he addresses someone other than her, she glances around and--oh.]]

Do you want to meet Dirk, Prick?

[[There's a cool Quag and she moves so he can see the gear better.]]

Dirk, this is my starter Pokemon, Prick. He's a Quagsire.

[You are a cruel mistress, Rose Lalonde. He will adore the shit out of you for it when he's not the one in danger of affection.]

...Pr-- [Snort.] You named your starter Prick?

Insufferable Prick, to be exact. Dave, if you have a hard time bringing yourself to say his name. Originally he had been named after Dave because of his 'cool as a cucumber' attitude when he was just a Wooper.

The name, obviously, still fits.

Because he, like Dave, is an insufferable prick.

[Dirk is temporarily lost in snickering fucking giggles, please hold.]

[Holding.]

Given the circumstances, if I had to choose one of you lot to be my kid, I'm glad you were the one slotted. I'm sure I'll live to regret that notion/

Personally I think if Dave were slotted, he'd likely be just as much of a shit as I am. [[She smiles.]]

Though I don't know if I like the idea of a Dave Lalonde. Dave? Maybe it would be David. That is a far more adequately eloquent name. Far more suited for the name Lalonde.

But! I am glad to hear that dad. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I think I like Dave firmly in the slot of "brother".

[A snort.] "David", holy shit.

Now that I've gone and dug myself a grave or three, what are the chances of me asking you nicely to not call me dad? And you, you know. Actually listening.

Edited 2013-12-02 06:27 (UTC)

He's a really great brother, isn't he? And just about slim to none. I mean you can ask, sure, but there's likely no chance I'll stop calling you that. It's fun watching your skin crawl, daddy.

[He quite possibly visibly shudders.]

God that is creepy. Isn't John more along the lines of everybody's dad?

Well sure but I plan to have babies with him eventually. Calling him dad will make that a little awkward, especially considering there are now four people in my life I call dad and I would prefer not to think of any of them while in bed.

No offense, of course. You're extremely attractive but, again, you're my daddy.

[[You're caught in her web Dirk and you're never going to escape.]]

[He loses about half a shade of skin color. Which is saying something.] More information than I ever needed.

I'd prefer you not think of me in bed either for that matter. Dashing as your God Tier jammies may be, Miss Lalonde, both my orientation and our state of related would make that horribly taboo. [Don't worry, he'll play along. When he's not just alarmed.]

Then we agree to suffer in our love-stricken states in silence together? Giving each other fleeting glances on the streets full of longing but always keeping our hands to ourselves. Standing awkwardly in elevators full of teenage hormones bursting at the seams, begging us to rut against each other like nature driven rabbits.

It will be tough, but we can do it. For each other.

[[You just jumped up to number one favorite boy to tease and torture.]]

[A beat.]

[And then he dramatically smacks a hand to his collarbone and shakes his gear.]

I-- I'll try, Rose. I will try my hardest, only for you.

And I, for you. Don't worry, daddy. We'll make it through this.

[[Ah, yes, delicious ridiculousness.

This is why she loves the Strider family. This is why she's glad she's a part of it.]]

Now, you don't happen to have a tape measure handy, do you?

[He wheezes for a moment in poorly-contained laughter. Holy shit this girl is amazing. He likes you, Rose. He is glad to call you his not-daughter.]

Because we're strong, baby doll. We're so strong. For each other.

[A quirked eyebrow.]

Might in my --don't have my 'dex, nevermind. Sorry, doll, that's a negative.

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