First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

[heartsplintered]

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Comments

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

[His mouth forms a very tight line against his jaw, a clear expression of trying to withhold an expression.]

[Inwardly screaming, basically. Flaming pony. He has a Ponyta.]

[He slides easily back into a sort-of poker face when Dave moves on to talk about Rose and Eevee.]

Suppose I wouldn't mind knowing about them. She's a breeder, right? Does she specialize in Eeveelutions? ...Eeveevolutions? Fuck, how do you even say that. The evolutions of Eeevee.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

[He laughs while he pulls on gloves and double checks his travel boots. Last thing he wants is a boot coming off way high in the sky. It would be his luck it would cold cock someone in law enforcement.]

Yeah sure, let's go with that. Rose is definitely a breeder, and takes all these notes on what she sees as they evolve. It's everything she ever wanted. She can study subjects and get inside their heads without any protests.

[Or maybe she likes the protests. Seeing as she gives Dave so much shit.]

If you want all there is to know on dragon types, I'm who you go so hey tell me about dragons.

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

Sweet. So we've got an Eevee expert and a Dragon expert. I'm liking these options.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

We got a Ghost expert too. Just be prepared for John being a super nerd about it.

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

[A chuckle, under his breath.]

Well at least he knows his element, huh? Creating slime ghost babies, that stupid happy slug motif that I guess is supposed to be a ghost from a movie with Bill Murray, ghost Pokémon... [A shrug of one shoulder.]

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

He's a fan of those movies, yeah. Like super fan. Also of b-rated flicks like Little Monsters. I have yet to meet something he can't like but I'm sure it's out there and probably in my taste range.

[In other words, John's taste sucks.]

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

[There's a short bark of laughter.]

At least he has a taste and an opinion. Jake just loves literally every fucking movie. He'd shit his pants if he ever met you.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

He's actually been here once before and yeah he did the pants crap at me and Rose.

How badly confused would the populace be if we had John and Jake dress up the exact same with shades on to hide their eyes. If we could keep Jake from talking no one would know. They'd just be clones.

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

[He shifts a little uncomfortably.] Hopefully not literally.

Getting Jake to not talk is about as impossible as getting this fucking bird to not roost in my hair. So I'm sure it'd be a great prank, except unless we taught John how to talk like an Australian Village Idiot, I'm not sure it'd fly.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

Yeah that really wouldn't work unless we did the exchanging so you looked like me and vice versa. I can imitate how you talk pretty well and deepen my voice to match it. We're about the same build too.

[Video]

[heartsplintered]

[He tilts his head in thought and frowns, shrugging.]

I could be persuaded to tame the hair for a day. But you've gotta let me help you style yours, this shit has to be perfect or you can't call yourself the visage of Dirk Strider.

[Video]

[moveslikestrider]

[Dave smiles faintly and runs a hand through his hair.] It goes without saying we'd help each other to pull this off. It's go big or go home on this kind of prank.