First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

[heartsplintered]

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

Comments

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[freshprints]

[...]

You're one of the people who's played Sburb, aren't you?

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[heartsplintered]

Cutting right to the point, aren't we?
Who's asking?

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[freshprints]

You type in colored text. That's a trend that tends to be shared by people who know of that game's existence — or so I'm told.

I'm an acquaintance of John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, and Dave Strider, if those names mean anything to you.

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[heartsplintered]

Intelligent deduction. Or maybe I just like the color orange. I mean, it's pretty fucking rad.

The first two and the last, if only because I've recently met people by those first names.

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[freshprints]

Given the fact that your immediate question wasn't, "What's SBURB", I'm fairly confident in that assumption as an accurate one.

I presume you're not a troll.

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[heartsplintered]

Fair enough. Guilty as charged, detective. Dirk Strider, at your service.

Depends on your definition of the word, but to answer your presumption I'm not grey.

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[freshprints]

My definition generally involved the presumption that my typing in this text color would define me as your empress. But again, from the general lack of genuflection or furious insistence that I'm an impostor, I think it's fair to assume that's not the case.

Do you know someone named Roxy Lalonde?

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[heartsplintered]

Well shit, should I start practicing my curtsey?
Last I checked I was pretty human, though I've been called a number of other things.

Once again, guilty as charged. Closest friend of the female persuasion a guy could ever ask for, Roxy.

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[freshprints]

You'd need a skirt for that first.

That's fairly begging me to ask you to elaborate on the other things you've been called, isn't it?

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[heartsplintered]

Hey now, whoever said a dude can't curtsey in jeans?

Oh, all sorts of things, most of which directly relating to things of a robotic nature. I've worked with them most of my life, so I guess it's not too far of a cry.

I still haven't caught your name, Detective Empress.

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[freshprints]

I think it's reasonable to assume you couldn't do it well enough to befit an empress.

My name is Kyouko Kirigiri. That's Western order; "Kirigiri" is fine.

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[heartsplintered]

Well perhaps if she were a fussy empress. I'll have to try harder, then.

Kirigiri, then. Taking your status into account, should I suffix that with -sama?

[Dirk stop being a little shit.]

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[freshprints]

If you're going to accord me that level of respect, you're likewise going to have to put that much more effort toward impressing me when you flirt.

Chalk it up to fussiness.

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[heartsplintered]

[He barks a laugh at his communicator.]

I wouldn't say it's flirting, so much as it's a give-and-take of trolling. Though if the fussy empress decrees I wear a skirt to curtsey for her, the fussy empress may just get what she wishes for. So my suggestion is she be careful on that front, because sometimes you don't really want what you wish for.

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[freshprints]

So I'm destined to be the "fussy empress" from here on out, am I.

Does that mean any request I make becomes your charge to grant?

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[heartsplintered]

Unless you'd rather I call you by name. I'm honestly just being a little shit because it's what I'm good at.

Could very well be. I mean I'm entitled as the Prince of Heart, so I'm not entirely sure what that makes us in terms of royal hierarchy, but I'm sure we could figure that out.

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[freshprints]

You're also honest, evidently. That goes a fair amount toward mitigating the conduct.

The Prince of Heart. That's your...class and aspect, then?

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[heartsplintered]

I'm honest when it's in my best interests to be as such.

Yes ma'am. Prince of Heart, which is comes complete with puffy little asshole pants and an apparent ability to destroy the fuck out of souls. Haven't had a chance to test that out yet.

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[freshprints]

And it's in your best interests to do so when talking to me?

...So the "heart" component must have some relationship to the soul, which leaves the "prince" class as the component providing the ability "to destroy"...assuming it works the same way that other classes and aspects have been described to me.

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[heartsplintered]

I've not been given a reason to feel like I should withhold any information I've given you from you, so for the most part, yes.

Prince is a destroyer class, yes, and heart seems largely synonymous with the soul of another. In essence, as I've been told by an alien whom I'm not entirely sure if I should classify as a friend or not, when used to their full potential I can literally destroy the soul of any living thing I choose to. Which is by far more impressive than the literal assumption I had made from the sheer fluff of the title at a glance. Aforementioned assumption was not at all aided by the puffy pants and tights aspect of the costume it puts me in.

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[freshprints]

From the information I've gathered, all classes and aspects seem to work that way — the aspect defines the noun or concept, while the class provides the verb. Seers "see", princes "destroy", and so on.

Assuming the costume you're describing is the equivalent of your own set of "rad magic jammies", that means you've also achieved god tier status, correct?

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[heartsplintered]

Which is honestly a little ironic in the idea of Princes. I'm proud of my own title.

That'd be correct, yes. Though I wouldn't say they're rad magic jammies, since I don't find myself particularly inclined to sleep in them.

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[freshprints]

Unless it's a Machiavellian sort of prince.

And those were John's words, not mine.

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[heartsplintered]

You just have to ruin my fun, don't you.

This is me, not being at all surprised by this revelation.

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[freshprints]

I'm the Empress of Fuss. Presumably that's what I do.