heartsplintered | First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

So we're legit in a Pokémon world of some kind here, aren't we.
Or at least, the fact that this fucking bird won't leave me the hell alone is leading me to think as much.
Are they typically this dumb? It's been years since I played any of these games, I don't even know what the hell it is.

Whatever.
Uh.

[He clicks the video option and it focuses on a skinny blonde teenager covered in freckles, wearing a pair of stupid triangular shades with his hair gelled into an impossible style that is currently being partially destroyed by his newfound Wingull. Dirk looks entirely less than pleased.]

I'm Dirk.

[[ooc; Apologies for the un-cut orange courier, I didn't figure it'd be in the best form to have his introduction post hidden beneath a cut.]]

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[[A less public forum being yelled across the house is go.]]

Hey John! If I want to give you a decent hand job how hard do I have to jerk your penis around to make it pleasurable?

[John why didn't you listen to your brain. Why do you never listen to your brain when it tries to tell you things.]

[That's not what he meant by less public and she probably knows it but John is too busy attempting to smother himself with his own pillow in embarrassment to respond back. Because if he's all the way upstairs in the bedroom, there's no way the rest of the house didn't hear that.]

[Congratulations Rose, you win. As if there was ever any doubt in anybody's mind that you wouldn't though.]

[Blake's about to give the standard schpiel about how yeah some of these things are dumb as a sack of hammers and some are a lot smarter than a animal has any right to be, and how what they have in common is being a lot of crazy bullshit, when the video comes on and smacks him in the face. It's a kid who looks exactly like Dirk, and it's definitely not the kid-who-looks-like-Dirk he knows already.]

[When the name he's thinking gets echoed by the kid, Blake's thumb jabs at the button to reply.]

[The face that comes up on the screen belongs to a middle-aged man who looks somewhere between annoyed and alarmed.]

What, Junior? Christ, how many kids does he have?

Maybe he really likes you?

[He doesn't quite know what to do with people knowing how to watch Striders. Though he doubts she'll step on his toes, exactly-- just unnerve him.]

Fair enough. For the moment, though, his only move seems to be "roost".

Clever as your joke is, keep in mind that's an actual move now, and will likely ruin it when given to people who only possess an iota of humor.

[[Well he'll have to get used to it. She'll be doing that a lot.]]

An outrageous percentile of awkward? Yes.

Well, naturally. Though even most "identical" twins lack every similarity there is to be found-- most people just operate by height, general body type and facial structure when calling twins identical. But also given the nature of you and Jade's creation being ghost slime, as you've said, and not a natural birthing fashion, it may not qualify at all.

[He sets his jaw for a moment, hoping internally that the alternate universe aspect doesn't mean their timeline became doomed. Given the fact that he's the only Alpha kid to have shown up thusfar, the entire idea makes his stomach turn.] Makes enough sense. This world certainly doesn't seem to share in the unusual dynamics of SBURB, though that hardly means it's lacking in its own unusual affairs... [His eyes roll up to glower at his Wingull again, pointedly.]

Might be a good way to keep busy. I'll do some research before I make a decision, I guess.

[Dirk squints at the Leafeon, tilting his head just slightly. He's not familiar with it, though the Dragonite he knows. He doesn't state either of these things, just making assessments. Rose did say something to the effect of him being something like 400 Pokémon behind.]

[Funnily enough, it's not until Dave mentions the weather that he stops to think about it and realizes that it is balls fucking cold. He shrugs one shoulder.] It's pretty fuckin' freezing, but I'll probably survive.

[He barks a laugh at his communicator.]

I wouldn't say it's flirting, so much as it's a give-and-take of trolling. Though if the fussy empress decrees I wear a skirt to curtsey for her, the fussy empress may just get what she wishes for. So my suggestion is she be careful on that front, because sometimes you don't really want what you wish for.

[He looks her over for a long moment from behind his shades, tilting his head.]

Jake's hair is a bit browner than yours. Possibly sunbleached. [He frowns, stopping himself from comparing the two further. He is not going to sit here and detail the differences between his ex and his ex's paradox ghost slime grandmother-daughter. Nope.]

[He looks up at his Wingull and nods, frowning a touch.] Seagull, yeah. Seeing that.

[The only part of that that seems to really unsettle him is the lack of allowance to carry a weapon. Otherwise it seems business as usual, and he played a few of the older games on emulators back in the day. Shifting his shoulders, he reaches up to smooth the pad of one finger over the Wingull's head.] Guess I'd better get used to this guy, then. What sort of program are you thinking?

[One of Dirk's eyebrows quirks itself high above his glasses at the abrupt change in scenery from kids and Japanese detective girls to Blake, and only changes to furrow together with the other at the question.]

I'm afraid I don't follow your question.

Or my hair gel-- it's hard to tell, really.

...But hair gel can't be tasty.

Unless maybe you use a fruity scented one?

[ not that Sora would know or anything. ]

Well I don't think he's eating it. That shit's probably not safe for animals. But no, it smells like hair gel.

[He laughs at that. Same old, same old. He's pulling on his traveling coat and tucking the dark material close. Flying can be cold as fuck in the chillier months.]

K. There should be some cash in your pack too. At least enough to gear yourself up. Once I get there it will be a sauna of fire. I'm not kidding, I have a lot of fire pokemon. [As if to make his point, both Charizards wander back in the background until Dave whistles and makes a, 'let's go' gesture.

He returns them to their pokeballs and clips them to his belt.]

Speaking of that, since the original 151, there's been new types found. Dark, Steel, Ice. More eeeveeevolutions to gather.

not yet
im procrastinating on setting one up

id like to use yours and breed it with one of my dragons
well work it out
i need more eevee eggs so i can get all forms of eevee too
them ill have them all
why am i doing this
eevee man

You should stop procrastinating.

Neither of these are a problem.
And there is no reason not to own all of them.
Really there isn't.
Eevee and their evolutions are not only very powerful, but usually very good tempered.

[Don't mind her, she's just taking a lock of her hair to stare at it for a moment. Huh. It would make sense for Jake to be outside more than her, he's always talking about adventuring and such.]

What I mean is, like I think we've been deposited directly into the game, some new version of the Pokemons that a few of us know already. I'm not sure why, so many people here, who's the protagonist in everything? But a few other people I have met have been questioning or realizing that the nature of this world seems awfully "scripted." Glitches have even happened as well. Heck, there's one guy here that actually is from a video game in his own world.

So I'm destined to be the "fussy empress" from here on out, am I.

Does that mean any request I make becomes your charge to grant?

Or maybe he just likes you? I mean you are his trainer and all.

[This kid appearing out of nowhere looking exactly like his...like Dirk, that's weird, but it's not like there isn't already one of them running around.]

The guy who looks exactly like you. Same name, same damn glasses, plus twenty years or so. That's your dad, right?

Edited 2013-11-21 08:41 (UTC)

ill do it when i get back

says the eevee guru
next thing you know youll be preaching did you pet your eevee today

anyway im out the door and into the deep blue in a sec

[Hhhhh.]

Ugh, seriously? And here I thought I was being daft and shit.

Oh hey, Charizards. I know what those are. I feel so fucking retro not knowing what your leaf-cat thing is. Or about your creepy sister's owls. Like I am so retro it's not even ironic, Dave.

Sounds great. I could stand some fire in my life. Right now all I've got is Seabird McDumb, who doesn't seem in the mood to offer much but a bad hair day. I'll look into getting some shit while you're in transit.

[He thinks for a moment on Dave's informative statement about types and eeveelutions.]

...is that what leaf-cat is? I guess it kinda looks Eeveeish.

Unless you'd rather I call you by name. I'm honestly just being a little shit because it's what I'm good at.

Could very well be. I mean I'm entitled as the Prince of Heart, so I'm not entirely sure what that makes us in terms of royal hierarchy, but I'm sure we could figure that out.

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First Splinter ♡ Text/Video

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